Developmentally Delayed Cows In Charge of Multi-Billion Dollar Ad Campaign

Bessie, Chief Slogan Officer, takes a break from painting billboards to vomit in her own mouth and chew it up some more

Taking a "corporate" vacation--he's hitchhiking!

You’ve seen those cows up there hanging off the side of billboards with buckets and brushes, painting ridiculous phrases about “chickins” in piss-poor English. At first I thought these cows were vandals of a peculiar sort, but I soon realized these cows are somehow in charge of a major multi-national corporation’s public ad campign. And they couldn’t be doing a worse job.

The four R's--readin', writin', `rithmetic, and regurgitation

Now, it’s one thing to acknowledge that these cows have done a pretty amazing thing by learning English, but I’m aggravated by their poor language skills and confused about their lack of continuing education. If these cows have gotten this far with their studies, why not go that extra mile and learn how to spell properly? I’ve been seeing these signs for a long time, and year after year the cows’ education has been stunted. These smart cows should learn to read and write properly and see what wonders it might do for their campaign.

Working without safety gear

Maybe if they read more, they would learn that NOBODY paints billboards anymore-it’s all done with computers. Not only is it a lot safer, it’s cheaper. It’s a wonder that cows can even manage all those thousands of billboards. Computers would free up a lot of time to spend on further studies.

Pencil-neck geek-a-zoids who created Team Cattle

Further, what kind of idiotic business owner lets barnyard animals run his ad campaign? They must be imbeciles if they do not notice or care that the COWS they have hired are massacring the English language! I’d keep a close eye on ANY animal I hired for ANY kind of job. Even seeing-eye dogs bite sometimes, and most animals cannot be trusted with much more than eating lunch and dying of head traumas in the slaughterhouse.