Don’t you wish your girlfriend was %$#* like me?

That girl gave me attitude

Hey, sexies, what’s up? Whatever. Listen, I gotta tell you about this new place to boycott cause of political reasons and shit. Check it: McDonald’s. Now I ain’t crazy, I ain’t even trying to tell you you gotta boycott all of em. That’d be way nutz. No. I’m just saying fuck that one up there on I-35. I went in there today to get me one of the McCafe’s since I stayed up way too late making Jell-o shots and needed a little pick-um-up before work. So I went through the drive through and got me a big vanilla latte and I start driving off and I taste it, and it tastes like shit. So I park my car and I walk my ass up to that window and I’m like, “Hey! This ain’t right! This drink tastes like a bunch of bullshit baby titty milk. I need some coffee in this shit.” And that chick was all, “You want me to make you another one?” and I was all, “Shit yes, I do.” So I went and waited in my car again and they took FOREVER making me a new one and then she brings it to my car and I taste that one and get this: That shit tasted like goddamn hazelnutz! Fuck! I can’t stand hazelnutz. Well by now, I was late for my goddamn job at the pretzel kiosk and so I said “Fuck this” and threw that shitty hazelnutz bullshit all over their parking lot and blew that joint.

Hazelnutz make me puke in my hairnet

Fuck Hazelnutz and Fuck that McDonald’s on I-35 Forever!!!