The Ruins: The Movie Review

I think I missed this part.

Okay, for starters, this is a pretty badass movie. I only came in about half-way through but I could tell from the first couple of minutes watching it that it was going to be pretty badass and it totally was.  I got that it’s about a bunch of college kids that go to like Mexico or somewhere, probably a cool place like where the Mayans lived or the Incas or whatever, and there’s these killer vines

Pyramids in Mexico are like this, except the bottom layer is tortillas

that are cannibals or some shit. 

The part I saw first was right when the French dude falls down the well and breaks his back. Then that blond chick goes down after him and busts her fucking knee.  After that it’s like a gore-fest with dudes amputating other dudes’ legs off with rocks and skillets and fire and shit and that blond chick

Sadly, these two babes never make out

gets all these killer vines growing in her fucking brain. It’s fucked up, dude! And, plus, the killer vines have these flowers that can talk and make people go totally fucking balls-nuts crazy. It’s awesome.  I think Ben Stiller directed it or some shit, too, so it was bound to be

This part was so sad, God started crying

good from the start. Anyway, check that shit out the next time you have a huge fattie to smoke and 90 minutes to kill.  You’ll be glad you did.