Posted: September 15th, 2009 | Author: Hilah | Filed under: News | Tags: Bar Harbor, Hilah Johnson, Maine, Mark Stewart, Red Lobster | No Comments »

Eat your heart out, Peter Jackson.

So here we are in Maine. What a place. It took us about 12 hours of airports and 4 hours of cars, but we are here. Man, it’s pretty. This here is sort of a “travel diary”, but I thought I’d throw together some “Travel Tips” and other info I’ve gathered regarding Maine and Mainers just in case any of you ever visit. The first section is called:

This dude loves log

Stuff Mainers Like.

Wood: Mainers like wood a lot. We saw no fewer than eight signs for things ranging from “Camp Wood” to “Holiday Wood” to “The Wood Doctor”. That meant we got to make the same joke no fewer than eight times. You know, that joke? Even the air smells like wood up here. Maybe it’s all the forests, or maybe there’s a PineSol factory. Either way, it smells real good.
Water: It’s everywhere! If it’s not the ocean, it’s a pond; if it’s not a pond, it’s a river; if it’s not a river, it’s indoor plumbing. Who knew Mainers would be so crazy about water? It’s pretty weird, especially for us Texans who practically live in a desert, albeit one with automatic sprinkler systems and drying-up aquifers.
Really, kid? Lobster AND ice cream?
Ice Cream: This one was just inexplicable. I mean, here we are, driving through the rain and it’s 64 degrees out and we must have seen three ice cream places in each town we drove through, which was about 20 so that’s about 60 ice cream places in an area who’s average temperature is less than 50 degrees! Maybe we should give Maine ice cream a try. Is it better than BlueBell? More on that later.
Beavers, Lobsters, and other “wild life”: All I can say is, they’re hardly “wild” when you keep them locked up on a big island. Mount Desert Island is probably like Alcatraz for animals. We’ll check that out tomorrow and maybe do an expose on it.
Making puns with the word “Maine”: As in, “Maine-ly Sewing”, “Maine-ly Maine Gift Shop”, “Mainely A Cappella”, “Mainely Hawaii”, and “Maintenance Contractors of Maine”. Okay, we get it, y’all have a really cool name for your state. All we can do is: “No new Texas!”