The last long term investment I made was a bulk box of condoms so the financial crisis has yet to hit me where it hurts. All my money is still safe in the bottom of my underwear drawer under my copy of the Victoria Secret catalog from fall of 1997 and next to the fluffy socks that make my feet look fat. But, the tellers at my bank have been equally aggressive and nice lately, offering things I don’t want and being damn happy when I turn them down. Leaving me with the sneaking suspicion that something sinister bubbles deep in the sheet-rocked bowels of my local B of A. Some pulled spring waits to snap and when it does the building will be re-purposed as an organ harvesting operation with white gloved tellers that capture ignorant bank costumers with trap doors activated by big red levers.

Now, I’m no economist, and I am pretty sure some of that vision is influenced by drugs or alcohol. But if you work for BofA and you are looking for a new idea to stave off the crows and delay the dark of night that falls around you, then call me. I got some drawings to show you. Money is the old way, dude. Kidneys is the new gold.

In Sweeny Todd people got sliced up too. Maybe this is a theme we could approach for the bank lobby and teller uniforms. Welcome to Bank of America would you like a meat pie?

That in mind. I bring you this from the Daily Show. It’s a clever break down of the people who were supposed to warn us about the cloud of fuck that now rains on our heads, but instead they fell in love with the smell of rich and went all wide eyed and goofy.

Season One of daily videos from Big Ol’ Tire Fire launches today with our first sketch- Gazebo High.

It’s like My So Called Life but funny and with a little less Claire Danes and a little more boob. The drama is heightened by the hormones and the hormones are heightened by the drama. It will all end in disaster, of course, but will be lots of sex and drugs along the way.

Smashing in Blue was the winner of the 2007 Dismember the Alamo Zombie Short Film competition.