NOW SHOWING @ deadCenter Film Fest

Friday, June 11th at Midnight.
http://deadcenter.bside.com/2010/films/freerangeasshole_deadcenter2010

Big Ol’ Tire Fire’s short film about an idiot who drags his wife along on a mission to prove the existence of a fabled creature.

Hey everyone.  I’m Jason Andres from Big ‘Ol Tire Fire.  That’s a picture of me from Stonehenge.  Notice my comedic irreverance and silly devil-may-care attitiude.  That’s a clear sign that you are dealing with a Jason Andres, for sure.

If you’re like me you probably google yourself some 35 times a day.  Am I right? I mean, really, what else is there to do?

What gets me lately is the ridicule I’ve been receiving from some people who think it a little obsessive of me to fixate so much on my ‘online persona’.  They don’t get it.   But hey, I’m a member of an elite club – I’m a Jason Andres – and membership requires I wear a lot of half shirts and stay on point.  To show you exactly what I mean, I have chosen to highlight a few members of this sacred fraternity – my brethren – the other Jason Andres’:

Here’s a good example.  We’re festive.  We’re fun.   And, not only do Jason Andres’ look good against blue backgrounds, but we look almost saintly framed in leaf borders.  This one’s expression says: “Hello, I’m Jason Andres, and when I get done doing this really important thing I’m doing, I’m going to have sex with you.”  A classic Jason Andres look, to be sure.

Here we are being cocky again.  Busted!  This is the kind of Jason Andres who would love nothing more than to explain the pros and cons (who am I kidding – their really aren’t any) to installing and maintaining your very own koi pond.  You’d probably even get into his car if it were raining and you had been out looking for your missing dog all afternoon, and he rolled up and somehow knew your full name and address and had a nice hot cup of cocoa in one hand and your dog’s collar in the other. That’s how we do it.  It’s in the trusting eyes of a Jason Andres.  Dog lovers, one and all.

Jason Andres is a master of commerce, but he’s also not afraid to get his hands dirty, as demonstarted by one of our rural namesakes here.  He can also strike a casual pose ‘on the fly’.  Notice the toe-to-ground /  heel-up position of the right foot.  That’s relaxed!  This particular Jason Andres just took a dump at a Dairy Queen.  Didn’t even eat.  Just went in for the dump.

We’re winners – plain and simple.  Jason Andres’ set their sights high – so high, in fact, that they find it hard to breathe when they get to where they’re going becuase the oxygen is so damn thin…cause it’s so..high up..like as in elevation.  Also, it’s lonely at the top.  Jason Andres’ know the loneliness of the winner’s circle.  They’ve worn the green blazer!  They’ve hoisted the cup over their heads!  They’ve felt the stinging spray of champagne on their private parts in a locker room!

So as you can see it’s a hell of a club I’m in.  And you thought I was the wondrous and compelling one – HA !  We’re all just doing our part, one Jason Andres at a time.  And yeah, admittedly I enjoy being the first Jason Andres to pop up on a google search .   But I have a feeling it won’t be for long.  I’m pretty sure there’s a young Jason Andres out there right now just waiting to take that #1 spot from me.  And unto him I say:

Come and get it muthaf***a!!!!

You could probably tell by my tasteful Gap chinos and sweater vest.  No?  Look at the goddamn backdrop if there was ever any doubt in your mind, then.   I don’t know if I could spell it out any clearer for you!  That’s the Star….Spangled…BANNER I’m in FRONT of, cuz, in case you didn’t pick up on the reference.  Come again?  Is the subtlety behind this shot just COMPLETELY lost on you?  I’m a fuckin kid in front of my country’s flag, damnit, squinting his little eyes like I just got up from a nap or something.  I’m Mr. Jackie!  What’s so hard to get?  Yeah, I already passed the cute phase, and am sort of floundering in that limbo spot that’s kinda awkward, like I still act like a baby and shit, but I can tie my own shoes, and I should probably just go away for a year or two until I can pick a maturity level and stick to it.  I love this place.  Christ.  Get off my back!

Here are some photos from our shooting days….come see the real thing tomorrow night!

Dogfood waitin for his ride

Only that motherfucker gets to ride in the front!

Hilah, telling us who he is and where he rides

After this, Dogfood kicked everybody's ass at dominoes

He's flavorful, with a package you can lean on

Dogfood! Shotgun!

This bag of puppy chow is the shiz-nit!

And here’s a glimpse into the magic of movie making with Big Ol’ Tire Fire…

Just a'swangin....