Hey everyone.  I’m Jason Andres from Big ‘Ol Tire Fire.  That’s a picture of me from Stonehenge.  Notice my comedic irreverance and silly devil-may-care attitiude.  That’s a clear sign that you are dealing with a Jason Andres, for sure.

If you’re like me you probably google yourself some 35 times a day.  Am I right? I mean, really, what else is there to do?

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This is the premier episode of my new video blog all about Austin comedy and events. It is directed by Jessica Gardner. This first episode features an interview with Mark Stewart and I recommend some bad ass stuff to do this weekend.

If you have something to promote that is funny feel free to hit me up. And check back each week for a new episode.

Big Battle Fat Camp from Mario Pena on Vimeo.

This is a short stop-motion film done by our friend Mario for Bloodshots 2009.  Mark and I did some voice acting for it. You can tell which voice is mine because the little doll representing my firm thighs and tight ass bounces up and down in perfect time to the melodic timbre of my voice. You can tell which one is Mark because he sounds like a kid with a mouthful of marshmallows. Happy Halloween!

Eat your heart out, Peter Jackson.

So here we are in Maine. What a place. It took us about 12 hours of airports and 4 hours of cars, but we are here. Man, it’s pretty. This here is sort of a “travel diary”, but I thought I’d throw together some “Travel Tips” and other info I’ve gathered regarding Maine and Mainers just in case any of you ever visit. The first section is called:

This dude loves log

Stuff Mainers Like.

1. Wood: Mainers like wood a lot. We saw no fewer than eight signs for things ranging from “Camp Wood” to “Holiday Wood” to “The Wood Doctor”. That meant we got to make the same joke no fewer than eight times. You know, that joke?  Even the air smells like wood up here. Maybe it’s all the forests, or maybe there’s a PineSol factory. Either way, it smells real good.
2. Water: It’s everywhere! If it’s not the ocean, it’s a pond; if it’s not a pond, it’s a river; if it’s not a river, it’s indoor plumbing. Who knew Mainers would be so crazy about water? It’s pretty weird, especially for us Texans who practically live in a desert, albeit one with automatic sprinkler systems and drying-up aquifers.
   

   Really, kid? Lobster AND ice cream?

3. Ice Cream: This one was just inexplicable. I mean, here we are, driving through the rain and it’s 64 degrees out and we must have seen three ice cream places in each town we drove through, which was about 20 so that’s about 60 ice cream places in an area who’s average temperature is less than 50 degrees! Maybe we should give Maine ice cream a try. Is it better than BlueBell? More on that later.
4. Beavers, Lobsters, and other “wild life”: All I can say is, they’re hardly “wild” when you keep them locked up on a big island. Mount Desert Island is probably like Alcatraz for animals. We’ll check that out tomorrow and maybe do an expose on it.
5. Making puns with the word “Maine”: As in, “Maine-ly Sewing”, “Maine-ly Maine Gift Shop”, “Mainely A Cappella”, “Mainely Hawaii”, and “Maintenance Contractors of Maine”. Okay, we get it, y’all have a really cool name for your state. All we can do is: “No new Texas!”

I doubt they are really singing lobsters

The sign says it all

I’ll keep you posted on more stuff I find out about Maine. In the “maine” time, keep it real, my “maine” man!

Factbreakers! is obviously not BOTF material. Apparently, some dude thinks it is funny to hack into our database (housed at NASA-Houston) and write inane things no one cares about.

NSFW

NASA’s top scientists have so far been unable to stop the hack attacks. We are not ruling out Brendon Walsh (and his buddy, Jack Lemmon) as suspects, but we’re pretty sure that they are from a guy named Doug who is an idiot.

Still a suspect

Factbreakers! is exactly the kind of mis-information that is destroying the internet and should be ignored as long as the attacks persist.