Posted: October 13th, 2009 | Author: CraigO | Filed under: News | Tags: big ol tire fire, Comedy, Craig Staggs, handwritten, passive aggressive, sharpie, sign | No Comments »

Or, at least one that is hilarious enough to get on the internet.

1. Be the smart one. This is harder than it sounds. But, nobody wants to end up on that site that ridicules the excessive use of quotation marks. Be precise and fair, yet stern. Beware: A “smart” note can quickly become a “prissy asshole bitch showing off his fucking bullshit English degree again” note.

2. No ball point pens. Jesus Christ! If your gonna set out to win at writing signs that make it on the web then you need to get a fucking Sharpie.

3. Sarcasm is what separates us from the animals. Oh, but I guess some of you already know that. You can probably just stop reading here because it takes so long to read all 6 tips.

Please stop using my index cards and tape They are expensive!

4. Presentation matters. Handwriting, graphics, media and sentiment come together in a dance making the best signs internet worthy. Work hard, make a sketch, proofread and focus on using the classic curse words. Remember, in the art world of hand written sign making “Fuck You” is a still life with flowers. A classic motif, as relevant and beautiful as the first creation.

5. Be aggressive. If you can’t face people to their face then threaten to do something mean to their face when you get the balls to be in the same space as their face.

6. Be authentic. No writing a Post-it note about about your room mate’s shitty-underwear in the refrigerator, taking a photo, then getting rid of the note and posting that bull-shit on Flickr like it happened in real life. Yeah, I get it. If a room mate is balls-out enough to put shitty-underwear in the fridge then he will probably knock the shit outta you for writing such a gay note. But that is just the thing about writing signs. There is just something inherently dicky about the process. Give in to it. If you want to get your sign on the internet, your gonna have to get a spunk about you. Oh, and go get a fucking Sharpie!